Ornery

Someone at work called me ornery a couple weeks ago. I wasn't offended. I actually thought, "I don't know if I am but if I am it's because I don't like you."

The next time I had to work a deal that guy, I was a li'l more agreeable. I had to humble myself and make an effort to be kind to a person I admittedly did not like.

I don't think I'm an ornery person. That was the first time anyone had ever called me anything like that in my life. Maybe part of the reason I wasn't too offended was because I didn't know exactly what the word meant. I don't use it. No one I know uses it. I knew it was meant to be derrogatory. But I didn't want to react to his attempt to push my buttons.

Today, I went out to an outdoor, riverside cafe/bar/pub/etc. With my co workers. My boss was there, almost all of my team was there, other colleagues were there, and our funder was there.

To make a long story short, my team has rescued our funder's job and career. She says we are her legacy but OUR performance brought her security and protection that she may not have had otherwise.

I don't particularly like Funder. My team makes fun of me because she and I won the water balloon toss at a team building retreat a couple years ago. That probably got us on HER good side, but....

Then, some months later, she came to our office and made a bunch of empty promises to us, including money and favor. We're still waiting for that stuff.

So, at the end of the day I'm not a fan of hers.

The funder asked my boss, next to whom I was sitting, why do we stress "quality despite the quantity" approach to our work when other teams produce quality with their quantity?

The diplomatic response would've sounded something like, "we have other restraints that the other teams don't have that should be obstacles, but we've succeeded despite those obstacles. Further, we are held to a more stringent standard (ie. Higher workload with fewer resources) and enjoy more success than the other teams."

In my indignancy, I blurted out, "'cuz we gotta make our numbers.'". In other words, we do more work (because you, funder, make us) and we still do good work eventhough your 'model' is designed for us to fail.

My coworkers looked at me.

"Way to keep it real," Princess said.

Then I realized I may have been a li'l outta line, but it was true and we all believed it. My boss had to clean it up a bit but she was on board with the concept.

I've come to realize it's hard for me to keep quiet around people I don't like and most importantly don't respect.

Later, Funder told Boss Lady and me that she interviewed for a position within her organization and her access to that position was based on the notariety she gained from our project. On its face, it sounded like she was giving credit to my boss for doing such a good job.

But, I also speak corporation.

'Thank you for giving me something good for me to take credit for and advance my career.'

I guess I speak corporate with a cynical accent.

Funder also told us that some Academian was writing a professional article calling for policy change based on how successful my team's approach in our project. To anologize, Funder wanted to show that personal trainers could treat hospital patients. Our approach is to have doctors and nurses treat patients and use the trainers to coach patients through treatment.

Boss Lady and I wondered aloud,

"How is some guy going to write about the success of our project withoutactually speaking to someone who works in the project he's writing about?"

"Well, what could he learn from you about the project?"

"Uhhh, what makes the project successful, maybe???"

"Well the success is in the design, you just execute it."

Corporate to English- you are not that important to why my idea worked. In fact, your company is full of people who can do your work. And my idea worked regardless of any contributions you think you made. Oh, and the success you think you're enjoying is only because my idea had success built into it."

I almost engaged her. But that would've jeopardized the jobs of my entire team. So I moved to the other end of the table.

Here's the thing. She is not savvy enough to realize that we scrapped her 'model' over 2 years ago and that is why we've been successful. She forgot that the reason why my team has the contract is because the last service provider dropped the ball trying to follow her 'model.' She refuses to admit that our success has nothing to do with her. In fact, my firm is treating her like our favorite rich uncle.

Oh and what she doesn't know is that my team set out from day one to show that (1) her model sucked and (2) our approach was way better. In other words, we set out to disprove her theory because her theory showed that she didn't know what she was talking about. And if we tried to follow her model, we would have lost her funding like the last service provider.

This was a very frustrating and almost demoralizing experience.

The funny thing, Boss Lady warned me a year ago (also at a bar) that everyone above was and would continue to take credit for our success.

Just think, if that guy didn't call me ornery a couple weeks ago, I never would've reflected on my lack of control over my tongue around people I don't like. And I probably would've lost my job tonight for being indignant towards our funder.

Scary thought isn't it?
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